...that I need to get laid? Yeah.
I REALLY need to get laid.
Damn it, I'm pretty sure I'm never going to fess up to this whole silent rivalry I have going on with Grace. I'm such a bitch lol.
I got to hang out with Blue a little bit today...it was nice of her to stop by; I definitely wasn't expecting it. Though, I started to feel the awkward after a while--like the whole, "You're doing it again" stare or whatever. Meh, still nice overall.
Then she reminded me that she was going on a date with Grace tomorrow. Great, just flaunt my defeat right in front of me, why doncha? Bleh, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't bitter about my good dead THAT I KNOWINGLY made. Oh well, that's just me trying to be a good friend.
I just need to get laid already.
Disclaimer: *stoner post*
Okay...so I've been in an INCREDIBLE writing mood since about 3 this morning. At one point, I mentioned something about the "Voodoo Box", which inspired me to create my own segments on here that I'm going to call...
"Shit from the Voodoo Box"
Creative, no? Well, fuck you. Anyways, the whole point of this segment is that I'm going to pull a random note from the box and just quote a few words from it. Why? Probably because it's one step closer to getting rid of the damn thing. I'll probably skip a few parts due to boredom. Plus that, and most of these will probably be from my first ex-girlfriend. Anyways, here we go:
"I feel the need to tell you this, because you have a right and I think you'd like to know. I never questioned my love for Chris until I met you. He does stuff in his own way, he loves me in a way no one else can and in a way I need that makes me whole. But so do you. You notice things and you pay attention to my feelings...I'm not comparing the two of you. But I love both of you so much. Josh, please understand, I can't choose between you two. I want to protect both of you from everything that can hurt ya'll...I'd do anything for you...I pray this doesn't make you think different of me or us. Josh, I need him."
It's funny how things look in hindsight, isn't it. I spend so much time thinking that I was being the better man in the situation. Man, was I a chump. But I was also barely 16.
Two really epic weekends have happened. For two Fridays in a row, I threw two INCREDIBLE shindigs at my place. No seriously, they were the best parties I've ever been to and I didn't even have to go anywhere.
And there are pics, so it did happen. :D
I think what fueled me into getting so amazingly f'ed up was the fact that I was frustrated about seeing Courtney and Grace together. At both parties, Luke and I were pretty much in the same boat...we just saw ourselves loosing. Therefore, we drank more! See how it works? We even ended up playing "Spin the Bottle"...and I kissed everyone BUT Courtney (and Brittney too, but definitely not disappointed about that). What was also saddening to me was that I got better kisses from Clark and Ryan than I did from anyone else that night! That's what I get for inviting a bunch of lesbians...lol.
I did end up kissing her the next afternoon, though. I'm just hoping that I didn't come off as frustrated or weird when I asked her. Oh well.
On the other end of the spectrum, I got to see Alaina the other morning and it was pretty awesome...though I really did like cling all over her and PDA'd everywhere. Shouldn't have done that, but I couldn't help it...it was the highlight of my night. Even after dancing for four and half hours gay in a club <---(See what I did there? XD).
All 'n all...I'm just ready to have something to hold on to again.
Well, I guess this is the trade off for having three pretty awesome days in a row...Monday rolls around and everything pretty much wants to go to shit again.
Bennett's dating Donkey now. What a piece of shit.
...and now I'm over it.
This is the week that I have to start packing. It's not going to take me that long unless I decided to get lazy...which is most likely going to happen.
Damn, what an interesting night this is turning out to be. And what a gigantic dramatic looser feeling. I hate being alone.
Guess who isn't sleeping tonight. And I can think of at least 12 different BETTER reasons why I wouldn't be. Unfortunately, it's one of the reasons towards the bottom. Ehhh..
I'm kinda tired of being lonely. :(
Too school for cool.
I'm kinda drunk/stoned right now.
Interesting night. :/
Well, I was definitely going to post on here the other day, but it seemed like the server was down...either way, getting here was taking a little too long for my taste. In any case, it's Friday and there's apparently a shit-ton of shit going on tonight. There are two parties that I'm mostly likely NOT going to show up to considering that I don't even know where or what one of them is and the other is at a fraternity house (that will remain unnamed) that I was asked to leave from once with no grounds.
Besides, I'm looking to HAVE a good time, not waste it.
Hence the reason why I'm throwing a small shindig at my own apartment. I'm never the one for a big party anyway, which is what the other two are shaping up to be. I just like having a few friends over and being belligerent with them without the worry of cops breaking in because (1)I live in an apartment on private property WITHOUT a horrible reputation, and (2) why would JPD bother with a handful of individuals NOT doing anything illegal when there are several frat parties going on and The Grove/Reserve still exists?
Though, I will admit, tonights going to possibly be awkward as hell. Maybe. Well, the truth is that this whole thing wasn't my idea to begin with--it was Grace's. She kinda took the liberty of inviting herself and few individuals over to my apartment. Can't say that I'm opposed to that, especially since I was going to do it anyway. Either way, she and Blue are going to be in the same space...drinking. She's a "friendly" drunk, I'm told. First off, someone else is technically throwing a party at my apartment. Second of all, I'm probably not going to get ANY action out of the whole ordeal (which shouldn't be that big of a deal. I'm used to it -_-;). The ONLY chance of anything happening is if Bennett comes over...which it's been sounding like he can't. And I like how Grace is almost trying to distract me with him in the sense that if I'm preoccupied with Bennett, I wouldn't be focused on Blue. I doubt she's thinking that far into it, but it really does come off that way. And I wouldn't be opposed to the idea if not for the fact that Bennett isn't really interested in me.
C'est la vie. >_>
I'm still banking on something incredibly fucking awesome to happen. Eventually. Damn it, I hate waiting.
So, I got a chance to watch the movie "The Social Network". I really enjoyed the witty "douchebaggitry" that was cleverly portrayed by Mark's character. Plus, I enjoyed the fact that he blogged on this site at the same time I was doing so. Small world.
In any case, this Spring Break certainly did produce a few interesting twists. For starters, I ended up getting rather close to Bennett. A lot closer than I thought I would. I definitely enjoyed the whole experience, even though he kinda avoided me the whole weekend and then blatantly told me that he was leading me on. Eh, it was still nice nonetheless.
Blue likes me; that's been finally established. Which makes the whole thing between her and Grace (something in which I set up) a little....strange. I would say "awkward", but it isn't to that point yet. It's just strange considering that there's only that one thing, whatever it is, keeping Blue and I from dating. And that was HER words, not mine. It really did make my night and I'm still hoping that we could try it some time in the future.
Until then, Grace is a pretty lucky whore. :D
Well, it's STILL Wednesday and things have decided to pick up a little. Apparently I'm going to be throwing a St. Patty's Day shindig at my apartment.
I'm cool with that. Especially since there's a possibility that I going to be drinking with Blue. Always a plus. :D If not, then I still finally have some fucking company other than my 33-year-old roommate and his Korean porn.